Message to a Survivor
You may feel like no one understands, especially if your abuser hides behind the mask of being the "nice guy." But please know this—you are not alone. You are enough, and you deserve so much more than the pain and doubt you’ve been carrying.
For me, it started with a single phrase from a friend: "You look like you’re walking on eggshells." That one sentence led me to a Google search that changed everything I thought I knew about my life. It opened my eyes to the truth I had been avoiding and set me on a path to healing.
If you feel lost or unsure, take that first step, even if it’s small. There is hope, there is freedom, and there is a brighter future waiting for you. You are stronger than you realize.
Message of Healing
What Healing Means to Me
Healing is a process—one without a timeline or expiration date. You can’t mark a date on the calendar and say, “I’ll be healed by then.” It’s not linear or predictable. It’s messy, complicated, and deeply personal. For me, healing has been about taking small, consistent steps toward reclaiming my life.
Many things have helped along the way. I journaled to give my emotions a voice when I couldn’t say them out loud. I researched to understand what I was going through because knowledge brought clarity. I sought out others who understood—people who could say, “I see you, and you’re not alone.”
But the most important part of my journey has been learning to like myself. And honestly, that’s still a work in progress. For so long, I let others define my worth, but I’ve started to see that I am enough, just as I am. I’ve also learned how to be alone, not in a lonely way, but in a way that gives me peace. Happiness isn’t something that comes from other people or circumstances—it’s something I’ve found within myself.
Knowing that I am free to make my own choices now, that I can chart my own path, has been a cornerstone of my healing. Even better, knowing I can use my story to help others makes this journey all the more meaningful.
I am better. I am good. I am motivated. But that doesn’t mean I don’t still have hard days. Sometimes, something—a sound, a memory, a random trigger—takes me back. For a fleeting second, I feel that old fear, the terror that he’s back to finish what he started that night with the gun. But then I remind myself: I am safe. I am okay.
Healing isn’t about erasing the past; it’s about learning to live with it in a way that no longer defines you. It’s a process—ongoing, imperfect, and uniquely mine. And every day, I take another step forward.
For years, I thought I had escaped the horrors of my childhood. My father’s overt abuse was a storm—loud, angry, impossible to ignore. So when I met him—the man who seemed so different—I thought I had finally found safety. He wasn’t my father. He didn’t yell or scream or raise a hand every other day. At first, he was kind, charming even. I thought everything was great.
But over time, the cracks started to show. The cold, distant days where I felt like an inconvenience. The subtle digs and underhanded comments that weren’t enough to call mistreatment but were just enough to make me doubt myself. I’d lie awake at night, crying, unable to understand why I felt so anxious and stressed. I told myself it wasn’t that bad. After all, he wasn’t my father.
Yet, deep down, I knew. I knew he could hurt me if I ever pushed too far, and that fear controlled me. As the years passed, the emotional manipulation evolved into something far darker. What started as control turned into sexual abuse. At first, I didn’t see it for what it was—maybe I didn’t want to see it. I clung to the idea that things would get better, that I could fix it, that it wasn’t as bad as it felt.
But the progression was undeniable. I couldn’t look away anymore. By the time it ended, I found myself at a police station, hoping for justice, for someone to finally stand up for me. But nothing was done. Nothing. I left that station with no real resolution, but I did leave. That was the day I decided to start over.
Healing wasn’t immediate. It’s still day by day. But now I get to choose what my days look like. I am no longer silent. I am no longer hiding. The mask I wore for years is gone, and I speak openly about what I endured, not because it’s easy, but because someone needs to hear it. Someone out there needs to know that they’re not alone, that their perfect-looking marriage may not be so perfect, and that they deserve better.
I poured my story into a book, {~Book Title.~} It’s not just a story about abuse; it’s a call to recognize the subtle signs, to question the system that so often fails victims, and to challenge the way society dismisses our pain.
I know how hard it is to rise, but I also know it’s possible. If you’re in that darkness, know this: you can rise too. Healing isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. And every day, you have the power to choose a better life.
Because still, I rise. And so can you.