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Survivor story
#799
Original story
Message of Healing
Healing is using my position to share my story with current college students, using my position to listen to college students, and using my position to educate college students.
I had only been a freshman at my undergrad for 5 days when I was sexually harassed and eventually assaulted, by someone who I thought was a friend. We were walking campus with a large group and the two of us lived in the same building, we were headed back up for the night. He didn’t get off the elevator on his floor, instead he waited and got off on mine. I thought he was being kind and so we walked do the hall, I wished him a good night and turned to unlock my door. All of a sudden he was trying to push open my door. He started kissing and touching me. I finally got him of of me and screamed. It was enough to get him to leave in the moment. After this, he was texting me nonstop. Threatening his life if I wasn’t with him sexually, threatening me, and saying terrible things to and about me. Eventually I told my Resident Assistant and asked for help blocking him. He told his boss and they called me in for a meeting. I shared everything that had happened and she told me that she thought I had a drinking problem and sent me to AA instead of addressing the assault. She blamed me. Sometimes even I still blame me.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.