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Survivor story
Name
1 month later
Unfortunately this was not the last time something like that happened. 4 years later I was partying with a guy I knew from the club I worked at. I trusted too easily. A couple of other girls I knew joined us. I got increasingly intoxicated from coke and beer but I was aware enough to realize he was trying to get rid of the other two girls. I subtly begged them not to leave me alone with him but they left. Not long after that I woke up on the floor and yes again a man was violating me. I ended up having to sleep in the same bed with him and woke up terrified when I realized what had happened (again!) I got out of there as soon as I could but not before being violated once more. Being hungover and confused and here's this man telling me he wants a relationship with me!? I was scared that he wouldn't let me leave unless I let him have his way. I'm adding this to my original story bc I'm thinking I'm not the only one who's had multiple experiences of being violated. The 1st time is bad enough but if it happens again the shame is worse bc you think wtf is wrong with me that this keeps happening?! I want to tell you it's not you or me. There are real predators out there who target their victims according to their own twisted criteria. Friends: Don't leave your friends in a questionable situation. If it feels wrong it probably is.
Original story
Message to a Survivor
Jesus loves you and me and He wants us to heal and He WILL punish those who harmed us in the worst way.
Message of Healing
A couple years ago I sent a letter each to my then boyfriend and the guy. I felt better.
In the summer of 1985 I was 18yrs old and had just graduated high school and was headed to college in the fall. I was dating a guy and we were very much in love. Another guy I had dated briefly months before who broke it off with me, (he was 23) was throwing a party for Live Aid at his mom's house where he lived also. My boyfriend was working until 11:30pm so I went over about 9p to hang out with everyone until he arrived. The guy was making margaritas or daiquiris and I had a few. I was sitting in a chair watching TV and everyone else was in another room. The next thing I remember was waking up with the guy having sex with me. At that moment my boyfriend is coming down the hall calling my name. I call back to him and the guy gets up and dressed and ran out to my boyfriend. My boyfriend came into the room and dressed me and carried me out. I couldn't walk. After my boyfriend took me home and put me on my bed he went back to the house to do some damage to the guy but he was met at the door by the guy and his buddies and told my boyfriend that I "was chasing him all over the house naked and begging for him to have sex with me". My boyfriend believed it and it slowly destroyed our relationship and my life forever.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.