I am here today alive and healing after 22.5 years of physical, emotional and sexual abuse. The world does not understand, therefore they choose to judge you not understanding that it is a control game with the abuser. The abuser makes the rules, breaks the rules....it is the abuser's game. NO MORE. After throwing him out I thought I could fix myself. First let me say YOU ARE ENOUGH, YOU ARE WORTHY, YOU ARE LOVED! Don't be Silent anymore! I use to think I was alone. Have you ever heard the phrase "Look what you made me do"? He made me feel that I could fix and make it better so he would not beat me anymore. You can't fix what you did not break. I was not the issue He was. I gave up after he threatened to Kill me many times and of course when the kids came along If I did not do what he wanted he threatened to kill them. As is said here NO MORE! The Shame, Guilt you feel is because of your abuser....just like mine was. Get Out first there are people to help and protect you! He threatened to kill our daughter when I finally said ENOUGH! The last 3 years the journey has been hard after 15 years of believing I could fix myself. I get counseling for my anxiety, PTSD and Depression. Never Give Up! I learned my Husband was a liar said he loved me, that is not Love. You deserve better!!!!! Get Out, Get Help................I love you!

Hey You........ It's Me............I see YOU

Hey you......It's Me.....I see You....I know You..........I am You I want you to always remember that I believe in what I say........I see you..............that is always important to healing that you know that Yes YOU ARE SEEN! I know you..............Yes I am just like you......I am also healing from the abuse of someone that professed to love me.................that is NOT love. I am you is the most important part.............I am just like you..............You are not alone and I am not alone. Be Courageous in you healing. Yes, like me, there will be times that you are afraid.......Do it Afraid. Fear is not your friend. There have been times, during my journey, I carried all of the pain in me, pretending that I was OK. I could get over it. Reach out................I have discovered that we do know each other. Pick each other out of the crowd, so to speak. WE ARE NOT ALONE! Most of all............You are my Tribe! There is support in others that have been there also. Never give up.....I love YOU!

Hey You........ It's Me.......

The photo is called SHINE I a world of darkness SHINE. I Am You

I Am You

Hey You.....It's Me........I see you and most of all I understand You. I want each one who reads this to know You have help me in so many ways. I have always looked at My abuse as a Domestic War. I was in a War with an enemy that promised to love and protect me. That was not love. In the past I have said to my Counselor I know I am not the only one I know they are out there.....just like me. I have you!!!!!!! I want you to know that you are super special to me. You are Courageous, You are so Amazing! Thank you for sharing I needed these testimonies so much. You help Me to take the next healing step! I love you all!

Hey You.....It's Me..............I see You................I am You....................

Hey You It's Me...............today, for Me is a Hot Mess Day. I am struggling today with myself. Today is a day I am just tired. I know that comes from the medicine. My counselor said we could change the meds I said no I will adapt...........and I will. One day at a time one hour at a time. I want to share something I have not shared. I have three daughters. One that was taken at 5 years old do to my abusive husband. That was hard for me................you don't get over that you just learn to navigate the grief of loss in raising your child. Then I had 2 more girls with Him. They grew up in a household of abuse. My oldest left home at 18 she is now 38 a recovering addict, alcoholic and cutter. Needless to say the abuse affected her deeply. She is healing after a year of help and a guy that abused her and almost killed her. She is living one day at a time and we now have no relationship. I love her, will never judge her, I understand that distancing herself from me maybe helps her stay clean and sober. Healing is a slow process I know that one day she will come around again. That was hard for me. My other daughter is 37 has a corporate job. Far different that her sister. She has spoken to me for the last 3 years. I guess in healing myself I was not the most patient person and she chooses a different life without me in it. I stopped paying for her bills and she stopped talking to me. I guess I am speaking this to maybe help someone else. I had a lot of shame, guilt for the way they grew up. That has been hard. Today I struggle a little about it my oldest had a birthday a week ago. I say all of this in hopes that each person that reads this see we are only human. In being with or marrying our abuser we were with them because we truly loved them. There is no shame in that...... Love yourself...............................