Welcome to NO MORE Silence, Speak Your Truth.
This is a space where survivors of trauma and abuse share their stories alongside supportive allies. These stories remind us that hope exists even in dark times. You are never alone in your experience. Healing is possible for everyone.
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Survivor story
Believe
Original story
Message to a Survivor
Believe. You are not making it up. It happened. They targeted you. Yes, you once believed them, but now you believe yourself. They are really talking about themselves. You are not their mirror. It took me a long time to understand how to begin to believe. It is power. You are powerful! You deserve help. Whatever help you need. But, you need to seek it. Trust that when you talk or cry or try you will find someone who understands. Someone who will believe you until you are able to believe in yourself. That abuser does not hold the power. You do! They targeted you because you are so very strong and smart and kind. But maybe you didn’t believe it when you met them. Forgive yourself. You are capable of mistakes. You are perfectly imperfect. You are capable of change, even if you have to start from zero. You will find a way. You are capable of anything!!
Message of Healing
What does taking care of myself really mean? It means laughing my big, giant laugh that makes me shake like a bowl of jelly and be heard from one end of the room to the other. It means being ridiculous. Who’s embarrassed? Not me. I’m going to be silly. Food is luxurious. Savor the smells, sights and tastes. Share that enthusiasm with others. Sharing, there is plenty when we are not greedy. Dance, dance, dance!!! Be happy for the utterly ridiculous things. It is so empowering. So satisfying. You not going to steal my joy ever again. Believe. The most important thing I can do is believe myself. Something feels weird? It is. Something sounds odd? It is. Got that funny feeling? Run, don’t walk. I looked to other people to be the expert in me. I’m the expert of me. I matter. I have a voice. I have feelings. I believe in me. I can’t say I always did, but it is the thing that has helped my start to conquer the fear that incapacitated me for over a decade. Be a friend, be a friend to yourself. Bring all the mess and heartache and fear and shame to the light. Let it be known. It is so surprising the folks who will rally around you, mouth agape, at how you endured/survived all that you have been through. They will marvel at your strength. Take time to marvel at your strength.
We were together for 14 years, married for 11. He still tries to mount a case to take our child away from me even two years out from our initial separation and divorce. His tools: manipulation, confusion/ chaos, coercion, projection, isolation, financial insecurity, doubt, guilt and insecurity, embarrassment and lies. Although he had no friends (biggest red flag ever) he did not act alone. His family actively participated to undermine my sanity, going so far as trying to get me to sign a power of attorney to one of his family members because they “only wanted to help and do what was best for our child”. Not true. Their family motto, “Don’t embarrass the family.” Which translated into do as we say, don’t complain and tell no one because who would believe you anyway. Did he ever hit you? Did he ever threaten your life? How exactly did he hurt you? Didn’t you yell at him? You seem so unstable. I’m sure he didn’t mean it. He was probable in a bad mood/having a bad day/ needs more sleep/ some other lame excuse. You married him so he’s your problem now. Not anymore he ain’t! Thankfully, I am crawling out of that mindset. I am out. I am free. Does he still harass me? Yes. Is it hard as hell out here? Oh, yes it is at times, painful even. I’ve cried oceans of oceans. But thankfully, I feel my strength thanks to kind worlds or actions from many people who did one simple thing….they believed me. When I talked about what I was going through, they believed me. When I talked about what he said to me or what his family said to me or our kid, they believed me. They gave me the courage to start believing in myself. They helped me recognize my strength and help my kid see their strength. It’s been over two years since this process of transformation started. I breathe better and find joy in life again. I am not the terrible person they say I am. I stopped believing their lies and started questioning them. They will not silence me. They will not terrorize me. The kindness I put out into the world and the kindness I receive is my fuel. I am strong, I am brave, I am capable, I can do anything because I am not alone. I will do whatever it takes to always remember I NEVER have to go back to that kind of life, ever. I deserve better. Later Troll.
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