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Survivor story

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Original story

Message to a Survivor

We can all have hope, because if you’re lucky enough to get away from your abuser you have already survived something. This keeps me going, this, and my child, because we’re still experiencing post separation abuse. Never give up, because I promise you someone else understands exactly what you’re going through.

Message of Healing

For me healing would be that I was able to talk about what happened to us without bursting into tears. I don’t know if I will ever get there, but with counseling I will keep trying. I also journal, so I can write down how I am feeling, especially when I’m having a difficult time expressing this. I look for the things that make me happy, and laugh, and that helps with my healing process too. We all heal differently, but the important thing is to try no matter whatever works best for you.

We lost our family dog to domestic violence. Yes family, because he’s family to us. After that our abuser drained every single account, sold things, hid things, stalked us, and more. Then he left both me, and our child homeless and struggling a lot. What followed was zero help, and support from the police, DA, DV Unit, and the judges. In my wildest dreams I never imagined that nobody would help us. We spent 7 years waiting to get housed, and each day I think are they going to kick us out today, and will we have to sleep in our car again. Understandably that’s an extremely uneasy feeling, not to mention the toll all of these things have taken on our mental health. Yet another thing that isn’t taken seriously enough. Besides all of the abuse, including the post separation abuse, there’s coercive control, and our judicial system needs to acknowledge, and do something about this too. As parents we want to protect our children, but we can’t do that without help from our Congress. We can no longer rely on our individual states to properly help us. We need a nationwide Act that protects all victims of abuse, but this will not work unless there’s accountability. It must be required to be enforced this. We need a Serious Crime Act. I strongly believe that if the United Kingdom can enact this so can we. The day that I had to tell our child that her own dad abused, and killed her dog is something I will never forget. Everyone situation is different, but the one thing we have in common is we’ve experienced abuse. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, especially not on children.

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