After seeing 'It Ends With Us', I felt I wanted to share my story. I saw this movie alone for the first watch, brought my Atlas to the second, and my bestfriend to the third. Watching it left me feeling empowered to anonymously share my story of abuse and violence. The film and the book brought back so many raw emotions, ones that I still struggle with today. My story started when I was 16 years old and I was with my first 'love', everything was OK in the beginning - but suddenly everything changed. I was constantly told how worthless I was, I got pushed down his stairs - but I wouldn't leave - and I didn't know why. He was controlling and did not like other people talking to me, going to extreme lengths to stop this from happening, and making sure my friends did not see me - people who he saw as a threat. I ended up in the hospital because of him, where he broke my hand. He got that mad at me once, we were in his car and just before I could shut the door and put on my seat belt, he started driving recklessly to scare me. What scared me more was when I was sleeping and I felt his hands around my throat - with no explanation. There were many times that I would say stop and he would carry on because he told me he was in control. I had cigarettes put out on me -multiple times, and was told that I was disgusting and looked like a sl*t, even telling me I was 'fat' - which led to further health issues. When I ended up with a bruise, my friend who is now my Atlas noticed - we worked together. I confined in him, and he was the first person to properly listen to me, and let me share my experiences. Throughout all this, it brought me overwhelming anxiety and depression and even the lengths of having to have therapy because to me it was a nightmare even when it was over, and reported multiple times. My parents never understood, asking me why I didn't just leave, telling me I must've wanted it to carry on. I didn't. I'm nearly 10 years later now, with my Atlas of 5 years, feeling happier and in a better place physically and mentally - I'm still healing. This movie brought me to tears and I related so much to Lily Bloom - some of it felt like my experiences - but the film also brought me a type of feeling of freedom and happiness. Thank you for letting me share my story. ❤️

It sometimes makes me feel like so much of my personality has been lost since the abuse and manipulation, and I often find that there are certain triggers that remind me of him, and sometimes I go for a drive, have a huge cry or sometimes talk about it. When it happened to me the first time, he told me 'you must have said something to make me do that, you must have done something', when in reality I know I had done nothing. Being told what I could and couldn't wear, really knocked my confidence - the first time I saw this as a joke. Feeling my head hit the wall for the first time - I still think about it now - the first time he made me feel wortless by assualting me - I often think ahout it. I often think what life would have been like, had I not met him. I may have spoke about it many times before but it is still as important after all this time. It was scary to try and trust someone again, but it was beautiful and I truly fell in love - for real. After all that time of being told that everything was always my fault and that he did those things but he was sorry and it wouldn't happen again, after all the times I was told by others 'you brought it on yourself by staying with him'. Some people will just never understand, but some people will, some have lived through it and survived, some are going through it now - whatever your going through reach out. I'm still in therapy - and for years I denied myself that because I didn't want to open up and be labeled. It is never your fault.