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Healing, for me, is an ongoing, deeply personal journey shaped by pain and resilience. It’s about confronting the scars left by years of abuse, navigating emotional trauma, and learning to move beyond experiences that once defined me. True healing began when I faced the emotions I had long avoided. Therapy helped me understand that my self-destructive behaviors were a response to deeper wounds from childhood. For the first time, I began to confront the shame, fear, and sense of worthlessness that had been buried for so long. Learning to embrace vulnerability was essential to my healing. My wife, Name, was a cornerstone of that process, offering me love and support that helped me tear down the emotional walls I had built. Through her belief in me, I found the courage to face my past. Emotional Martial Arts (EMA) also transformed my healing process, teaching me to Recognize, Validate, and Release (RVR) my emotions. This practice allowed me to confront old pain without being consumed by it, helping me break free from the patterns that had once trapped me. K treatments were another profound step in my journey. These sessions allowed me to address deep-seated trauma I hadn’t fully confronted. They provided relief from the weight of decades-old pain, helping me feel unburdened for the first time in years. I’ve learned that healing is neither linear nor one-size-fits-all. It’s a personal process, and what works for one person may not work for another. The key is to remain open to the journey, exploring different paths, whether through therapy, alternative treatments, or practices like meditation. The most important thing is to keep moving forward. Today, I know the shadows of my past still linger, but they no longer define my future. Every step I’ve taken has brought me closer to peace and self-understanding. The pain of my past is now a source of strength, fueling my purpose to help others break the silence around abuse. Healing is possible, even after deep wounds. It’s about reclaiming your life, allowing your pain to fuel your purpose, and continuing the journey toward a future where your past no longer holds power. In sharing my story, I hope to encourage others to break the silence around abuse. Healing is possible, even after the deepest wounds. Our pain doesn’t have to define us—it can fuel our purpose and empower us to reclaim our lives. Healing, for me, is about embracing the present, recognizing the past for what it is, and continuing the journey toward a future where pain no longer holds power.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.